When their mentor, the Comte, delivers their nomination for Most Dull and Boring Vampires, Lynette Loring and Darlene DeMars realize they're in trouble. The Comte challenges Lynette and Darlene to "get a life"—the only way to avoid the prize.
At San Francisco's Happy Humping, a full-range sex boutique, Lynette checks out the toys and meets Nick LaStrada. Elsewhere, sparks fly when Darlene and Jon Torrance both reach for the same whip.
Each couple is on the fast track to love. But cross-cultural differences between vampires and humans threaten to derail the new romances… These young vampires must avert the award from hell and get the guys before they succumb to the Comte's predictions of disaster all around.